Wednesday 23 July 2014

Lumes looms

Consenvoye to Lumes

92 km
16 locks
25 hours



The next morning it was up early and off to Vilosnes. The weather by now had taken a turn for the worst and on top of being wet was also very cold. By the time we reached Vilosnes I had the stove lit. The rain did not stop that day or the next and eventually with our hoods up we decided to brave the elements. On leaving the comfort of our home, even the dogs complained.  We walked up a long road through the village, which now resembled a river, and out the other side.

Our mooring in Vilosnes

One of the sights on our wet walk around Vilosnes




It was nice to eventually get back to a toasty warm boat.

Luckily, I did remember to take down the French flag before lighting the fire


Before we set off the next morning, Tracy took the dogs for a walk and came back laughing her head off. She had bumped into a very wet and excitable Labrador on her journey and could hear an English accent shouting “Wilson!” “Wilson!” “Wilson!” Then watched as a large Yorkshireman ran over like a monster truck out of control. There was fear, desperation and panic in his eyes (anyone who owns a dog will understand the feeling when you are trying to control your dog and the hound has other ideas). “You’re not the man from that Youtube video are you?” Tracy asked him. Bright red and completely out of puff he ignored her as his dog continued to coax him in to some form of exercise.

The following day was warmer although not sunnier but it was nice to be back just in our t-shirts. Looking at our guide, we decided to head for Dun-sur-Meuse. Although the lock just before the port had other ideas and gave up the ghost as we entered. Tracy did the usual and jumped off to contact VNF, just as an English chap walked up. He was on a peniche waiting on the other side of the lock to ascend.

We could see one space left on the jetty and were both looking forward to getting tied up and the kettle on. Once VNF arrived the English chap had a conversation in French with him and established that the port on his map didn’t exist so he decided to turn around and moor on the free space we had our eye on. “You can tie up next to me if you like” he said sheepishly.

With the two dogs it would have been very awkward as our boat was much lower, so we shrugged our shoulders and said “Thanks anyway but we’ll have to say c’est la vie”.

We motored for a few more hours looking for somewhere to moor, before eventually reaching the next port.



This was also full so we continued even further. It was 5.59pm when we finally reached a lock with a short grass bank on one side. We pressed the remote to activate the lock and knew that going through would be all or nothing, as the lock would be turned off as soon as we exited. Tracy leaped from the boat once I was in place and scouted the lay of the land. As it turned out, the banks of the canal on the other side of the lock were very high and it would be impossible to tie up. With the lock turned off, we knew our mooring pins would be safe from being ripped out of the soft grass by larger boats, at least until morning so we decided to reverse out and moor up next to the short grassy bank after all. Worryingly, the lights on the lock remained on green all night and were still on green when we were leaving the next morning at 7.30am.

Our lock mooring. We don't really like using stakes as boats whizz past very fast


After such an early start, we reached Mouzon at lunchtime.

The mooring in Mouzon

And a quick trek around the town



The unusual tourist information office at Mouzon


You had to make a quick dash through here as the pavement runs out





A stroll around town established that there was not much in the way of entertainment so rather than pay the €8 at the port, we decided to carry on eventually tying up next to a barrier at Remilly.

Our mooring tied to the barrier in Remilly


There was an auberge advertised with ‘amarrage’ (moorings) and a map to show the way down a side arm of the canal. Fancying lunch out, we set off the next morning but unfortunately, there were no further signs and the people we asked for directions just looked at us blankly.

Eventually, we gave up hope of finding it and resigned ourselves to the fact that it would be cheese sandwiches for lunch. As we were approaching the lock before Sedan, a huge troll of a man was facing our way shamelessly having a pee. “bonjour” we shouted thinking he would quickly turn away from us, but no he just carried on, had a shake, wiped his hands on his trousers and zipped himself up.

This wasn't the troll having a pee but a random fisherman I captured. Nobody seems embarrassed or wants to turn away


Casually, he strolled over to us and stood slack mouthed beside the lock without blinking. In fact, the only time we got any reaction from him was when Tracy asked about the cows out on the field (there was a farm next to the lock and she presumed he worked there). His whole face lit up and by the time we were waving him au revoir, there wasn’t a thing you could tell us that we didn’t know about the four-legged beasts (in French that is).

We pulled into Sedan, the grey sky didn’t help, but the whole place looked very, very depressing. We nipped into the town centre had a quick look around, and bought a loaf and a couple of small pizzas for lunch (one turned out to be fish, yes that’s right fish pizza, and was even more disgusting that it sounds). We just couldn’t bring ourselves to stay there, some places just don’t have a good feel to them and Sedan was one of those places.

Our mooring in Sedan


A bit grim really


There were a few random pontoons provided for mooring along the way but they were way too short, didn't have anything to tie up to and the notice on them stated '15 tonne or less'


We were really glad we did leave, it was a very long cruise but eventually Lumes loomed into sight and we couldn’t believe our eyes as the only other boat there was another narrowboat. We moored up and went over to say hello to our neighbour. Gill was waiting for her other half to return from a trip to England and had been looming in Lumes for a few days (pardon the pun).

Our lovely Lumes mooring


The next day we went in search of the café Gill had told us about as our supplies were running low and we fancied something different. We didn’t realise that it was Bastille Day and a public holiday in France. The café was closed when we got there. We asked an old lady if there were any other alternatives in the village and she pointed us in the direction of Charleville some 7km away. In desperation, we began the long walk in the hope that something would be open in this large town. On route we met another couple and after a conversation, established that it was unlikely that anything would be open even in Charleville either. Resigned to making our own lunch, (not more cheese sandwiches) we turned around and started trudging back. 100m further along the road and we could hear “monsieur, monsieur” it was the chap we had just left on the Charleville road. “I know somewhere that is open” he said and insisted that we follow him. We turned down a road and he triumphantly pointed to a building in front of us. There it stood, ‘Loomy Land’. Not wanting to offend him, we went inside and soon realised that it was a children’s play factory with brightly colored everything. 

As it turns out, the steak kebab and chips weren't half bad


We both had misgivings about this place but were at this point ravenous and would have eaten a dead rat if it had been presented with a few chips. We had had a similar experience a few years back when we were in a campervan in Cornwall. Our campsite had no facilities and the only place available was a Haven holiday park up the road. We got there fairly early sat at a table and ordered our food. As we were waiting for it to arrive all the children turned up with Lizzie Lizard who began to lead the dancing for the kiddies’ disco. We were sat on the edge of the dancefloor and felt like a right pair of numb-nuts. When our food finally arrived, we couldn’t finish them fast enough.




A dog toilet was thoughtfully provided, not sure how often it is used though



When Graham returned the next day he showed me an ingenious gadget he had picked up off Ebay. The device screwed into a gas bottle enabling you to fill up at any garage that sold gas from a pump and worked out much cheaper than buying a new bottle every time. As we were probably going to run out of gas imminently he offered to drive me to a garage and show me how it worked. Fantastic! A full gas bottle for all of €15, this would normally cost us around €25-€35.

We all decided to have a walk into Lumes village centre the following day and have a drink at the bar. It was closed (again). Instead, we all got our fold up chairs out and sat in the shade drinking wine. Later, Gill being the amazing hostess that she is, whipped up a wonderful spicy chorizo stew for us all.

Graham and Gill with us


We ended up staying at Lumes far longer than we had anticipated, as it was just so nice to be around likeminded, friendly people. Gill writes a funny and interesting blog herself and should you wish to follow it, the URL is: www.contentedsouls.com.




When we did eventually head off, we only managed one lock and a short cruise into Charleville-Mézières as the washing looked once more like the north face of Everest and I’ve not got a head for heights.



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Moorings in Vilosnes
Cost: Free
Facilities: No water or electricity available.
Location: Rural location with no facilities.

Moorings before Lock 32
Cost: Free
Facilities: None.
Location: Rural location.

Moorings in Mouzon
Cost: There was a charge for this mooring
Facilities: Both water and electricity available for a charge.
Location: Small town, everything closed when we visited on a Monday.

Moorings in Remilly
Cost: We were wild-moored and tied to a barrier, no charge for this
Facilities: None.
Location: There was an auberge advertised but we failed to find it

Moorings in Sedan
Cost: There was a charge for moorings
Facilities: Both water and electricity available for a charge.
Location: Large town with all the usual amenities.

Moorings in Lumes
Cost: Fee
Facilities: Water available for free.
Location: Small village with a bar/tabac, hotel and the unique ‘Loomy Land’






Orange bites man

Pagny-sur-Meuse to Consenvoye

93 km
24 locks
35 hours




Turning on to the Canal de la Meuse was something of an anticlimax. The first lock was en panne and we had to wait about forty five minutes next to a grim looking cement works for the lock keeper to arrive and get us moving.

Not shown on the photograph, but the cement works was almost a square mile


Eventually, we arrived at Euville and it was here that we met the two lovely Australians, Peter and Jo. We ended up playing leap frog with them from one mooring to another until we eventually met up for a drink with them in Verdun.

The lovely countryside around Euville


From Euville, we made our way to Commercy just in time for France to beat Nigeria. We joined in the wild and crazy street party as best we could. Cars were beeping, fireworks exploding and the flag waving was frantic. The atmosphere was electric and our mourning over England’s early exit soon left our minds and was replaced with big smiles for France’s victory.

Shame we can't reproduce the sound of the celebration, it was deafening



An outdoor laundrette, we were worried someone may have left an old kebab in one of the machines so didn't fancy using them

A road in honour of my wife!


We joined our Dutch and German neighbours on the mooring outside Aldi supermarket at Commercy and it was a handy trolley dash from shop to boat. As we were putting the shopping away on the boat, I spotted our Dutch neighbour making off with the trolley and more importantly our €1 coin.

Our mooring in Commercy, the grey building is Aldi


“Oi” I shouted but the chap and his wife threw a deaf’un and scurried even faster through the shop doors. I ran like my life depended upon it and caught up with them in the frozen foods. Then, after pretending not to have noticed, (even though they had sat and watched me empty the trolley) they shamelessly handed over the money (cheeky sods).

Needing to top up my phone credit, I wandered over to the Orange outlet in town and bought €20 worth of credit. Before I could say ‘bonjour’ the man serving me had taken my money and instantly put the credit on my phone. “Tu es vite” (you are quick) I said practicing my French “merci beaucoup”. What I didn’t realise was that he had actually sold me a credit that could only be used in France. Annoyingly, I didn’t find this out until I returned to Tracy who tried to call a friend back in England.

I immediately returned to the phone shop and the shopkeeper’s face lit up. “I think you have sold me the wrong ticket, could I exchange it or have a refund” I said. “No refund, the credit is on your phone now. I can sell you another one for international calls,” he said. “Another €20” he added smiling.

Avoid like a dog doo baguette


For the past year, I have been getting credit from all over France at various outlets and have never been sold a ticket for use only in France before. In addition to this, I have always had to ask for assistance putting the credit on.

I let him know I thought he was a Trou du cul (arsehole) and left without parting with another euro.

The next day we were St Mihiel bound and arrived just before the final lock at 5.55pm. Rather than get through the lock and find the town mooring full, we pulled up on the lock mooring and spent the night there.

Our lock mooring in St Mihiel


In the morning we had a walk into St Mihiel and across to the town moorings. There was only one peniche on it, so like two highly-strung water rats, we raced back across the town and got the boat started. Tracy pushed the button on the remote to activate the lock but disaster. It was en panne. She then raced over to the lock and called the lock keeper. We were dancing about with anxiety at this point, not wanting to miss a spot on the pontoon. Eventually, the light turned green and we descended.

Slowly, slowly we cruised up to the staging and could see one boat mooring up and another heading in that direction. “Push her to warp speed, let’s beat these buggers to it” Tracy shouted whilst looking like a wobbly masthead waving her rope at the German couple heading for the same space. We made it. Well we almost did, panicking, I didn’t manage to get the bow close enough on the first attempt for Tracy to jump off comfortably so I had to have another go at the manoeuver, whilst the captain and crew on the other boat were shouting and gesturing to us. Luckily, they weren’t speaking English so what may have sounded like insults could have actually been kind words of encouragement (you never know with languages) so we just smiled and waved just in case. 

And after we managed to elbow our way in, the town moorings at St Mihiel


Rather that whitewashing the unused shop windows, an artist had created some original artwork which really cheered the various unoccupied shops up


The outdoor gym. No subscription needed.

Thanks to whoever keeps emailing me the diet plan, I am working on it!



Whilst in town, I paid a visit to the official Orange shop and told them about my experience back at Commercy. “It sounds like they’re running a scam,” they said. “With the amount of boats and campervans from Europe that visit Commercy, he’s got a continuous stream of gullible victims to exploit”.

The girls in the shop phoned the head office and reported him. Head office is now going to keep an eye on Mr Dodgy and if it happens again he would be barred from selling Orange products. I didn’t get my refund, but the lovely staff in the (official) Orange shop at St Mihiel did make me feel a tadge better about losing my €20.

From St Mihiel it was back to mooring in the sticks at Lacroix sur Meuse. After our tea, we headed to the only bar in town to watch France play against Germany.

Our mooring in Lacroix sur Meuse



Not to be mistaken for a cricket bat, it is the largest loaf we have ever seen


The path from the mooring to the bar was via the back of the building and we both said in unison “I’m not eating here” after we spotted a filthy dead fly encrusted window where the kitchen would be.

On entering we expected a rowdy encounter, but were surprised to find only a handful of customers. Apart from a group of Belgiums there were only four or five French people in there, in fact there appeared to be more staff than actual customers. We found this surprising in such a small village where they had gone to great efforts decorating the pub and putting the game on a big screen. You would think that it would have been a big occasion for the community to congregate.

Now, although I am Manchester born and bred, a city where there is no escaping the game, I actually neither understand nor follow football. I put this down to the fact that as a kid I never owned a gym kit and so was always excused from school sport or shoved in goal when I played with mates in the park, a position I hated.   

I do try to make an effort to watch the important matches in life even if it is only so I can join in a conversation. I can honestly say though that every time I root for a team they lose. I’m like an anti-mascot.

So it was no surprise, although very disappointing, when France were eventually defeated.

We walked back to the boat to discover Tracy had left the gas lit on the stove. The boat was hotter than the surface of the sun and we were both gutted about the waste, we could have slow roasted a whole wildebeest by the amount of gas used.

We pottered onward the next day eventually arriving at Dieue where a number of empty boats were left tied up on the visitor mooring and looked like they had been there years. The weather had turned grey, cold and miserable and not wanting to go further we tied up opposite before the lock.

Our mooring in Dieue

Not tried one yet, but will report back when we have

Some images along the way




A lovely boat

And what a fantastic little vehicle







I had a wander with the dogs and eventually found a supermarket. Tracy had planned another veggie meal for us that evening but, with it being a proper Manchester day weather-wise, I had a craving so came back and cooked us liver, sausage, mash and onion gravy (tinned process peas would be the order of the day back home but you just can’t get them here).

The day after, we finally made it to Verdun and were amazed to see boats moored three abreast on both sides of the canal. Amazingly, we just managed to squeeze into an empty space at the very end and later found out that a peniche had only just vacated the spot. We soon found out why it was so full, the moorings were slap bang in the middle of Verdun and provided both electricity and water for free.

Our mooring in Verdun




Peter and Jo, our Austrialian friends were moored opposite and we shouted across to them inviting them over for a drink later that evening. After a visit to the tourist information and a stroll around the town we plonked ourselves down in a bar on the wharfside.

Out and about in town before the rain fell










Actual bullet holes from the war

Fancy seeing this here



Just as we finished our drinks, the sky grow darker and darker. We rushed back and just made it to the boat before the deluge. We were really glad we had invited Peter and Jo over to us as it meant we didn’t have to go back out.

Peter and Jo's boat across from us. Thank goodness they were coming to us


As it was a Sunday and we were nibble-free, they kindly provided all kinds of lovely treats for us to pick at.

We stayed for a couple of days in Verdun then headed off to Consenvoye. Arriving there after lock closure we were confused by which direction to take for the advertised port. A stern looking gentlemen ran to the corner and began aggressively directing us down an arm. It was very narrow and it looked like we would have to reverse out if there were no moorings. “Which way do you think” I shouted to Tracy who was stood on the bow “There looks like space at the end” Tracy shouted back choosing, like myself, to ignore Mr Traffic Cop who was still punching his finger in the direction he wanted us to go.

Enraged, the man charged back and forth as we moved forward, then I realised that he was the occupant of the very expensive looking plastic cruiser next to the gap. As it happens, he was panicking for nothing as I managed to pull in nicely just next to the lock whilst giving a breezy “bonjour” to our exasperated neighbour.

It turns out he was Australian and chatted to us through gritted teeth without providing an explanation of why he had behaved the way he had (although it was quite obvious why). After tea, I walked the dogs down the arm to have a look at the official port moorings. It was packed with cruisers, peniches and other craft, with a fast flowing current squeezing through a tiny gap at the far end. We would have had to reverse right the way back if we hadn’t ignored the bossy Aussie.


Our mooring in Consenvoye

The end of the short arm and the fast flowing water

An unusual lock for these parts, luckily there was a floating pontoon


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Moorings in Euville
Cost: Free
Facilities: Water free, no electric.
Location: Rural, no shops nearby

Moorings in Commercy
Cost: Free for us outside Aldi, the port de plaisance is also free
Facilities: None for us but water and electric both available for a charge.
Location: Fairly large town with lots of shops, bars and restaurants – beware the phone shop though!

Moorings in St Mihiel
Cost: Both the lock mooring and the port de plaisance were free.
Facilities: Both water and electric available for free on the port.
Location: Large town with a good selection of shops, bars and restaurants.

Moorings in Lacroix sur Meuse
Cost: Free
Facilities: Both water and electricity available for free
Location: Small village with a bar and boulangerie

Moorings in Dieue
Cost: We moored opposite the port but we presume it was free
Facilities: We are not sure if water or electricity were available.
Location: Supermarket approximately 0.5km away

Moorings in Consenvoye
Cost: We moored at the lock for free, we think the port was also free.
Facilities: Not sure if water or electricity were available at the port.
Location: Small village with no facilities.