Orange bites man

Pagny-sur-Meuse to Consenvoye

93 km

24 locks

35 hours

Turning on to the Canal de la Meuse was something of an anticlimax. The first lock was en panne and we had to wait about forty five minutes next to a grim looking cement works for the lock keeper to arrive and get us moving.

Not shown on the photograph, but the cement works was almost a square mile

Eventually, we arrived at Euville and it was here that we met the two lovely Australians, Peter and Jo. We ended up playing leap frog with them from one mooring to another until we eventually met up for a drink with them in Verdun.

The lovely countryside around Euville

From Euville, we made our way to Commercy just in time for France to beat Nigeria. We joined in the wild and crazy street party as best we could. Cars were beeping, fireworks exploding and the flag waving was frantic. The atmosphere was electric and our mourning over England’s early exit soon left our minds and was replaced with big smiles for France’s victory.

Shame we can't reproduce the sound of the celebration, it was deafening

An outdoor laundrette, we were worried someone may have left an old kebab in one of the machines so didn't fancy using them

A road in honour of my wife!

We joined our Dutch and German neighbours on the mooring outside Aldi supermarket at Commercy and it was a handy trolley dash from shop to boat. As we were putting the shopping away on the boat, I spotted our Dutch neighbour making off with the trolley and more importantly our €1 coin.

Our mooring in Commercy, the grey building is Aldi

“Oi” I shouted but the chap and his wife threw a deaf’un and scurried even faster through the shop doors. I ran like my life depended upon it and caught up with them in the frozen foods. Then, after pretending not to have noticed, (even though they had sat and watched me empty the trolley) they shamelessly handed over the money (cheeky sods).

Needing to top up my phone credit, I wandered over to the Orange outlet in town and bought €20 worth of credit. Before I could say ‘bonjour’ the man serving me had taken my money and instantly put the credit on my phone. “Tu es vite” (you are quick) I said practicing my French “merci beaucoup”. What I didn’t realise was that he had actually sold me a credit that could only be used in France. Annoyingly, I didn’t find this out until I returned to Tracy who tried to call a friend back in England.

I immediately returned to the phone shop and the shopkeeper’s face lit up. “I think you have sold me the wrong ticket, could I exchange it or have a refund” I said. “No refund, the credit is on your phone now. I can sell you another one for international calls,” he said. “Another €20” he added smiling.

Avoid like a dog doo baguette

For the past year, I have been getting credit from all over France at various outlets and have never been sold a ticket for use only in France before. In addition to this, I have always had to ask for assistance putting the credit on.

I let him know I thought he was a Trou du cul (arsehole) and left without parting with another euro.

The next day we were St Mihiel bound and arrived just before the final lock at 5.55pm. Rather than get through the lock and find the town mooring full, we pulled up on the lock mooring and spent the night there.

Our lock mooring in St Mihiel

In the morning we had a walk into St Mihiel and across to the town moorings. There was only one peniche on it, so like two highly-strung water rats, we raced back across the town and got the boat started. Tracy pushed the button on the remote to activate the lock but disaster. It was en panne. She then raced over to the lock and called the lock keeper. We were dancing about with anxiety at this point, not wanting to miss a spot on the pontoon. Eventually, the light turned green and we descended.

Slowly, slowly we cruised up to the staging and could see one boat mooring up and another heading in that direction. “Push her to warp speed, let’s beat these buggers to it” Tracy shouted whilst looking like a wobbly masthead waving her rope at the German couple heading for the same space. We made it. Well we almost did, panicking, I didn’t manage to get the bow close enough on the first attempt for Tracy to jump off comfortably so I had to have another go at the manoeuver, whilst the captain and crew on the other boat were shouting and gesturing to us. Luckily, they weren’t speaking English so what may have sounded like insults could have actually been kind words of encouragement (you never know with languages) so we just smiled and waved just in case. 

And after we managed to elbow our way in, the town moorings at St Mihiel

Rather that whitewashing the unused shop windows, an artist had created some original artwork which really cheered the various unoccupied shops up

The outdoor gym. No subscription needed.

Thanks to whoever keeps emailing me the diet plan, I am working on it!

Whilst in town, I paid a visit to the official Orange shop and told them about my experience back at Commercy. “It sounds like they’re running a scam,” they said. “With the amount of boats and campervans from Europe that visit Commercy, he’s got a continuous stream of gullible victims to exploit”.

The girls in the shop phoned the head office and reported him. Head office is now going to keep an eye on Mr Dodgy and if it happens again he would be barred from selling Orange products. I didn’t get my refund, but the lovely staff in the (official) Orange shop at St Mihiel did make me feel a tadge better about losing my €20.

From St Mihiel it was back to mooring in the sticks at Lacroix sur Meuse. After our tea, we headed to the only bar in town to watch France play against Germany.

Our mooring in Lacroix sur Meuse

Not to be mistaken for a cricket bat, it is the largest loaf we have ever seen

The path from the mooring to the bar was via the back of the building and we both said in unison “I’m not eating here” after we spotted a filthy dead fly encrusted window where the kitchen would be.

On entering we expected a rowdy encounter, but were surprised to find only a handful of customers. Apart from a group of Belgiums there were only four or five French people in there, in fact there appeared to be more staff than actual customers. We found this surprising in such a small village where they had gone to great efforts decorating the pub and putting the game on a big screen. You would think that it would have been a big occasion for the community to congregate.

Now, although I am Manchester born and bred, a city where there is no escaping the game, I actually neither understand nor follow football. I put this down to the fact that as a kid I never owned a gym kit and so was always excused from school sport or shoved in goal when I played with mates in the park, a position I hated.   

I do try to make an effort to watch the important matches in life even if it is only so I can join in a conversation. I can honestly say though that every time I root for a team they lose. I’m like an anti-mascot.

So it was no surprise, although very disappointing, when France were eventually defeated.

We walked back to the boat to discover Tracy had left the gas lit on the stove. The boat was hotter than the surface of the sun and we were both gutted about the waste, we could have slow roasted a whole wildebeest by the amount of gas used.

We pottered onward the next day eventually arriving at Dieue where a number of empty boats were left tied up on the visitor mooring and looked like they had been there years. The weather had turned grey, cold and miserable and not wanting to go further we tied up opposite before the lock.

Our mooring in Dieue

Not tried one yet, but will report back when we have

Some images along the way

A lovely boat

And what a fantastic little vehicle

I had a wander with the dogs and eventually found a supermarket. Tracy had planned another veggie meal for us that evening but, with it being a proper Manchester day weather-wise, I had a craving so came back and cooked us liver, sausage, mash and onion gravy (tinned process peas would be the order of the day back home but you just can’t get them here).

The day after, we finally made it to Verdun and were amazed to see boats moored three abreast on both sides of the canal. Amazingly, we just managed to squeeze into an empty space at the very end and later found out that a peniche had only just vacated the spot. We soon found out why it was so full, the moorings were slap bang in the middle of Verdun and provided both electricity and water for free.

Our mooring in Verdun

Peter and Jo, our Austrialian friends were moored opposite and we shouted across to them inviting them over for a drink later that evening. After a visit to the tourist information and a stroll around the town we plonked ourselves down in a bar on the wharfside.

Out and about in town before the rain fell

Actual bullet holes from the war

Fancy seeing this here

Just as we finished our drinks, the sky grow darker and darker. We rushed back and just made it to the boat before the deluge. We were really glad we had invited Peter and Jo over to us as it meant we didn’t have to go back out.

Peter and Jo's boat across from us. Thank goodness they were coming to us

As it was a Sunday and we were nibble-free, they kindly provided all kinds of lovely treats for us to pick at.

We stayed for a couple of days in Verdun then headed off to Consenvoye. Arriving there after lock closure we were confused by which direction to take for the advertised port. A stern looking gentlemen ran to the corner and began aggressively directing us down an arm. It was very narrow and it looked like we would have to reverse out if there were no moorings. “Which way do you think” I shouted to Tracy who was stood on the bow “There looks like space at the end” Tracy shouted back choosing, like myself, to ignore Mr Traffic Cop who was still punching his finger in the direction he wanted us to go.

Enraged, the man charged back and forth as we moved forward, then I realised that he was the occupant of the very expensive looking plastic cruiser next to the gap. As it happens, he was panicking for nothing as I managed to pull in nicely just next to the lock whilst giving a breezy “bonjour” to our exasperated neighbour.

It turns out he was Australian and chatted to us through gritted teeth without providing an explanation of why he had behaved the way he had (although it was quite obvious why). After tea, I walked the dogs down the arm to have a look at the official port moorings. It was packed with cruisers, peniches and other craft, with a fast flowing current squeezing through a tiny gap at the far end. We would have had to reverse right the way back if we hadn’t ignored the bossy Aussie.

Our mooring in Consenvoye

The end of the short arm and the fast flowing water

An unusual lock for these parts, luckily there was a floating pontoon

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Moorings in Euville

Cost: Free

Facilities: Water free, no electric.

Location: Rural, no shops nearby

Moorings in Commercy

Cost: Free for us outside Aldi, the port de plaisance is also free

Facilities: None for us but water and electric both available for a charge.

Location: Fairly large town with lots of shops, bars and restaurants – beware the phone shop though!

Moorings in St Mihiel

Cost: Both the lock mooring and the port de plaisance were free.

Facilities: Both water and electric available for free on the port.

Location: Large town with a good selection of shops, bars and restaurants.

Moorings in Lacroix sur Meuse

Cost: Free

Facilities: Both water and electricity available for free

Location: Small village with a bar and boulangerie

Moorings in Dieue

Cost: We moored opposite the port but we presume it was free

Facilities: We are not sure if water or electricity were available.

Location: Supermarket approximately 0.5km away

Moorings in Consenvoye

Cost: We moored at the lock for free, we think the port was also free.

Facilities: Not sure if water or electricity were available at the port.

Location: Small village with no facilities.